by Kathy Butler, OLY
Kathy Butler is a two-time Olympian, five-time NCAA champion, and six-time USATF national team staff coach. She coaches a post-collegiate group in Boulder, Colorado, and remote athletes. Additionally, she has 11 years of high school coaching experience, including the past three years coaching her daughter’s high school team.
Mondo Duplantis, Vashti Cunningham, Matthew Centrowitz, and Sebastian Coe all have one thing in common: they were coached for some or all of their athletic career by a parent or parents (Helena and Greg Duplantis, Randall Cunningham, Matt Centrowitz, and Peter Coe, respectively). While many coaches end up taking on some level of parental or mentor type role, that is very different from when a coach endeavors to be both parent and coach. While the examples above are athletes who have made it to the top level, it’s even more common for younger athletes to be coached by a parent. Parent coaches can be as high as 80-90% (Alspach & Coles, 2026) of the coaches in general youth sport. Coaching in the dual role of a parent can create opportunities for growing closer to your child and meeting their needs more effectively, since parents know their children better than anyone else. On the flip side, parents coaching their own children can lead to parents being too involved and sometimes overly critical of their own children. Team members may perceive that the coach’s child gets preferential treatment.
When thinking about best practices for a parent coaching their own child or coaching a team that includes their child, it is worth considering the reason for a parent becoming a dual role coach-parent.
Even in the elite athlete examples above, some fit these common reasons. For example, Helena Duplantis, a former heptathlete and volleyball player, got into coaching because she saw a need when she realized the “exceptional athletic abilities of her four children were in danger of foundering” due to a lack of expert coaching in her area (Jeffery N., 2021). Peter Coe was a cyclist in his younger years and an engineer who designed a program for his son and thus became his coach (Miller, 2016). Matt Centrowitz was a highly successful athlete in his own right with a long coaching career before his children became high-level college athletes, and then he took some time to help guide his Olympic champion son.
For all coaches who jump into coaching their own children, there is one thing in common: at some point they weigh the options before taking the leap. Parents and caregivers should ask themselves:
If the initial answer is yes, then what do you do next? Firstly, become the best coach you can be. This will look different depending on the level and age of your child and other athletes. Look into any training that is required. If you are already a coach but are taking on a new role as parent-coach, then consider what it takes to be a good parent-coach. Entering a parent-coach role for an experienced coach has a different set of challenges, but has many positives. As one coach Jill Mallon put it, “Knowing that my years of coaching knowledge and experience could help her is extremely rewarding to me.” Jill coached for 26 years as a collegiate coach and now coaches her high school-aged and emerging elite daughter.
While it can be hard to separate coach talk from home talk, keep your parent and coach roles separated. Have definitive time that is coach time and time when you are purely a parent. This can be tough, but leave it up to your child when it comes to talking about track and field outside of practice time. If they ask a question, answer it. But move on from the conversation to other topics once it has ended. Be fair, but not too tough on your child. Sometimes to not show favoritism, parent-coaches can find themselves being extra tough on their own child-athlete (Kurtz, 2023). An extreme example of this would be the Ingebrigtsen family dynamics involving their father and former coach, Gjert (AP News, 2025). Make sure to check in with them, other coaches, and yourself to make sure you are being fair in your approach. As my own daughter said when I asked her, “Overall, my mom does not treat me any differently compared to everyone else. I am never put before anyone, nor do I receive any kind of special treatment because my mom happens to be my coach. Obviously, I have a closer relationship with my mom than anyone else on the team ever will, but this has never affected anything before.” Let them find their passion. As a post-collegiate coach and former professional athlete, track and field is a big part of my life. We watch Diamond League meets for fun in our house and there’s a lot of running-based work between coaching and being a USATF instructor. However, I deliberately did not push my own daughter into running. She raced on skis (slalom and giant slalom), acted in school plays, and was just a regular kid. This may have meant that she got a later start on running than some of her peers, but it was her choice when she decided to get more serious about running. In her words, “I started to really like cross country and track about a year ago. Finding a real love for running is something that I discovered completely on my own. Something clicked and I realized that this is the sport I truly love doing. I enjoy pushing myself, working hard, and growing along with my teammates.” It was also her choice if I coached her team. The school asked me, but the decision was always up to her.
Approaching the topic of athlete selection, awards, and potential favoritism with other coaches, athletes, and parents is important. As much as possible, use an analytical method and provide written guidelines before it becomes an issue. This is important in general for coaching, but as a parent-coach it can help remove any suggestion of favoritism. For example, each year we pick the most improved athletes for our high school teams. I knew my daughter was one of the most improved her freshman year, so we found a way to quantify improvement. I looked at a percentage of performance over the season and compared it to the year before if the athlete raced previously and created an improvement chart based on actual time and percentage of race time. A specific position finish at certain races could also be used to quantify improvement. Selection for lettering on the high school team should be defined before the season so there are no questions asked. Using practice attendance, meet attendance, and other team responsibilities make this part much easier. Other than deciding to coach your child in the first place, one of the hardest things can be knowing when to hand off to another coach. This could be temporary as it makes more sense to have another coach talk to them about a race plan or technical aspect, especially if you think it will more easily come across as constructive feedback rather than parent criticism. Handing off could also be permanent. This could happen as the athlete moves up a level. Even if asked to follow your child up in levels, it’s a good time to revisit your role as their coach. Do you have the coaching skills required for the next level? Does your child want you to coach them? It takes you back to the decision process again. Keep working towards the skills you need in your coaching context. If you are just starting out, that may be a foundational certification like the USATF Developmental Coach Program or Level 1. However, do not let that stop you from getting started and continuing to improve your knowledge. Whether you coach your child when they are 10 and never again or all the way to being Olympic champion, it can be a rewarding experience. Approach it with the thought and dedication it deserves and enjoy the journey together while it lasts.